9 Reasons Why Being a Strength Athlete Makes Life Easier

1.) You can carry all of the groceries into the house in one trip. Buying food to support a strength athlete is going to involve pounds of food. 10 pounds of chicken, 5 pounds of fish, 5 pounds ground beef, 3 pounds of bacon, 10 pounds of potatoes, 3 pounds of mixed vegetables, butter, cottage cheese, sour cream, milk, and eggs. The weak folk would take 5 trips minimum to bring these groceries in. If you are like me you don’t like cardio so man up, put the grocery bags up onto your arms and run like hell as if you were doing heavy farmer’s walks.

2.) You won’t have to call in any favors to get help moving. Screw asking your lazy and weak friends to help you move; you end up doing all of the work anyways. Utilize that core strength and strap the couch to your back like you are going to be doing 225 pound lunges. Moving a refrigerator isn’t so bad when all you have to do is grab it like an atlas stone. Buy heavy duty plastic totes to put the smaller things in. No need in moving 10 boxes that are 10 pounds each when you can move 2, 50 pound totes.

3.) You laugh at the “Team Assistance Lift Necessary” stickers on furniture boxes. Going to a store and asking a 95 pound chick to help you get a computer desk weighing less than half of your warmup weight for deadlifing should be frowned upon. Take a deep breath and get your adrenaline pumping, tack your hands up and keep that core tight. Extra points if you make it to the front and don’t use a cart.

4.) Being a strength athlete can be amazing for your sex life. Deadlifting heavy means you know how important it is to activate your glutes and thrust your hips forward for lock out. Treat your female friends like you are locking out on a 500 pound deadlift and you will “hit new depths.” Be careful of her head positioning or you might have to do some remodeling of your house or furniture.

5.) If your vehicle breaks down, you can push it home. Pull out your gym bag, a tow strap, and put on your chucks; you’re about to be your own tow truck. Why spend money on a tow truck when you are trained to pull semis for fun? All of the money you save from pulling your own vehicle you can spend on more food and supplements.

6.) You can steal kegs from a party. It takes two people to dolly in the kegs for your friends of a friend’s party. Be an alpha male and take the keg and start your own party. It will be lighter than the kegs you have concrete in and who the hell is going to stop you?

7.) You can be an amazing landscape artist. Hear me out: You’re trying to go pro strongman, you hate your boss and want to quit. Go ahead and quit your job and become a landscape artist. You will be able to get paid to get your atlas stone training.

8.) You have two built in back scratchers. Your girlfriend wants you to scratch her back and you’ve been picking your calluses because you are bored. Use them to your advantage and just swipe your hand across her back and she will be in heaven. Having rough calluses can be great when your fingernails are too long or too short to scratch an itch. Be careful if you want to run one out, you will have some Brillo pad action and it will kill the mood unless you really are that much of a badass.

9.) The smell of cat pee makes gives you a feeling of nostalgia. If you’ve ever taken a hit of nose tork, you understand what I mean. Nothing like a kick to your face hole to really get the adrenaline pumping and beat a PR at a competition. To most, cat pee is a disgusting smell but to the people who have used nose tork, you get a sense of nostalgia and a chubby.

If you have any comments or questions, feel free to leave a message below!

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